Inspiration

When I find myself aching for inspiration and needing a faithful recharge, I usually return to the blog of a stranger. The blog of a family that has endured more struggles than I could ever have imagined, yet they still remain loyal and strong in their trust in God. Last night I was thinking about how hard my life has been after having had two babies in under a year, while working full time in a demanding and low paying job, attempting to maintain some normalcy for my oldest daughter and a meaningful relationship with my husband. It is a rat race, to say the least. While I was having my pity party, God reminded me of a frequent question I used to ask myself before things got so crazy, “I wonder how Lucy is doing.” So, the first thing I did this morning was to visit that stranger’s blog. Her name is Kate. Her daughter, Lucy, was diagnosed with a serious form of brain cancer, Medulloblastoma, 2 years ago when she was only 6 years old. I came across Kate’s blog while I was pregnant with the Hurricane and I have been following Lucy’s journey ever since. Kate is an amazing woman. My heart can’t begin to imagine the pain that her family has endured over these 2 years; however, she has never once wavered in her faith. To the contrary, if she feels her faith slipping (and who could blame her) she expresses it in her blog and it seems to bring her back, along with the hundreds of faithful readers she has acquired throughout the years.

You may wonder why I am gushing over this blog. It is because I have often thought how much I wish I could inspire others the way that Kate does. I wish that one day, my faith could reach the level of graceful understanding that Kate has reached. Even before Lucy got sick, there was a child-like wonder in her writings of Christ Jesus and her relationship with God. I want that. I, like many others, am a flawed person. My flaws seem to be multiplying with every sleepless night, double temper tantrum and/or argument I have with my children. I will never be inspired or be able to inspire others, until I learn to let go of what I think life should be. I will take every effort to learn more patience and to be more selfless, like Kate. I do not have the strength of Kate and her family but I will continue sending faithful prayer that will help lift them, and others, up. Perhaps one day, I will find whatever it is that I am looking for but for now, all I can do is be thankful for the blessings that He has given me and pray for those who have struggles greater than my own.